Five Little Acorns

I'm thinking it's about time to clean up this blog!

Hope your Christmas was merry!

Birthday, Please--Double Shot

Better late than never....here are the photos of Reuben's birthday!

This was the first year that we made a "do" out of Reuben's day--I guess because it was the first year he was really aware. His birthday is so close to Thanksgiving that we usually just celebrate with family that weekend instead. This year, he was emphatic that he wanted a Thomas cake and that he wanted to eat it with his friend Ella. We invited Ella and her family over for dinner and figured that was celebration enough (7 kids between the two families!).

I really really love making my boys' birthday cakes. This one was particularly fun.

It was mostly completed when Reuben woke up from his nap--of course he was thrilled to walk out of the bedroom and discover it, and kept saying, "that Thomas face is so funny, Mom, it's so FUNNY!" The cars are filled with black jelly beans ("coal"), green gummy frogs and candy legos. Of course.

After dinner we did something special: a Birthday Walk for our birthday boy. We lit a candle and placed it on the floor, to represent the sun. Then we put labels for each of the twelve months all around the sun in a circle, and asked Reuben to stand on the November label.

He got to hold a model of the earth that I had made out of playdough the day before. Justin talked briefly about the day he was born, then we had Reuben walk once around the sun, to represent his first year of life. He stopped on November, and Justin shared a little about his first year of life. We continued on in this fashion until he (and the earth) had made three complete circles around the sun.

The cutest part was that every time he would stop on his birthday month and listen to Justin talk about his toddler years, he kept trying to sneak a bite of the earth!

Happy 3rd birthday, Reuben, we love you!

*********************

And Sean just celebrated his first birthday...with a STORE-bought cake (see how worried he is?),

a dinner of finger foods (in true one-year-old fashion) and a new rubber ball! Sean-boy, what a gift you have been to us this last blessed year! We love you and are so thankful for the chance every day to watch you grow and learn.

Dive in, little boy, welcome to toddlerhood!

Looking For Love?

Meet Sean.

SWM, age 8 months.

Nicknames: Sean ("Seen"), Sean-Boy.

Likes: Morning walks to the honey farm or park, laughing at The Brothers, getting wedged under tables and chairs, slapping five with the friend in the mirror.

(Organic) Cheerios on the couch.

Playing dress-up.

Dislikes: Sleeping through the night.

Oh, and boring movies.

***************************

Author's note: Sorry, ladies, he's only got eyes for his momma!

They're Here, They're Here!

My Christmas present was delivered today,
courtesy of the US Postal Service...

Five baby chicks, each of them just 2 days old.

Justin says if we want to name them, we should choose Foodie names, like Fryer and Drumstick, to remind us of their eventual purpose. I don't know that Cole really understands, because he wants to name one of them "Wheat"!

These sweet little ladies are the perfect end to my year, as God has been teaching me great things lately about the sanctity of life.

Last winter, He led me through a journey of ancient Old Testament scriptures concerning food and ritual. I was astonished to see such abundance of life in passages I had read so blindly for years. I saw the beauty of God's protection in scriptures about restriction; I found freedom in the celebration of Sabbath.

And then, unbeknownst to me, as I was praising God for loving me as a parent and giving me safe boundaries, he was creating another child within me, yet again expanding the limits of my little tent....

Teaching me ever more about trusting His timing, and having faith in the goodness of His gifts.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --jeremiah 29:11

On a basic level, I am thankful for the food these chicks will provide. On a deeper level, although I am not looking forward to explaining their death to my boys, I am thankful for the opportunity to share that experience with my children. I hope that they begin to see, as I have, that sometimes One has to die, for us to truly live....

la, la la

My funny valentine...

Did you have a nice day yesterday? I cooked all day...heart-shaped blueberry pancakes for the boys for breakfast (thanks Jill for the idea!) and all the fixings for Valentines dinner. Whew! The payoff was worth it when Justin finally got home and we could all sit down to one of our family's favorite meals: Guiness-braised corned beef, garlic smashed red potatoes, green beans and challah....and double chocolate torte souffle with raspberry orange sauce. Yum!

The highlights of the day were watching a Little House DVD in the afternoon with Cole while we braided the challah together, and curling up as a family on the couch after dinner to watch some of Planet Earth--my valentine's surprise for Justin. And watching "Big Love" with Jus after the boys went to bed. We just shake our heads. Justin says, "All those wives! Too complicated!"

Week 5

This is my new favorite photo of Sean.



Don't you just love when they do this? He's totally vertical, and it doesn't phase him in the least!



Love it.



We are entering week 5; Sean will be 1 month old on Saturday. I am in complete denial, and am frantically racking my memory for where the past four weeks have gone. How can he possibly be a month old already?



Everyone likes to talk about the First Six Weeks. Any good pregnancy/postpartum book will have an entire section on this, and veteran moms make a point of stopping first-time moms in the grocery store to encourage them to just get through the First Six Weeks. It's that magical time when you're expected to sit around in fat clothes, doing nothing---weepy, pudgy, sore, and sleep-deprived.



Four babies later, I have come to LOVE the First Six Weeks. I see myself getting grouchier the closer I'm getting to its inevitable end. The First Six Weeks represents the grace that I fail to give myself all of the other weeks of my childrens' lives. Grace to be a little manic, to ask for help, to embrace my expanded waistline. Grace to spend all afternoon snuggling my baby, even if it means that dinner is late to the table---or that we eat take-out, because there is no dinner at all.



The other night, I was up late nursing the baby and decided to sit at the computer with him afterwards, until he nodded off. So there I was, linking my way through blogs at 1:00 am, when I stumbled upon a blog detailing the labor and birth of a baby girl--a baby girl who was born on Reuben's 2nd birthday, in late November, and who died of congestive heart failure two days before Sean was born, mid-December. I was hysterical. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I sat in my dark living room in front of this glowing screen for over an hour, reading every account of her short little life, crying so hard I could hardly see the words.



After all that, I couldn't bring myself to go back to bed, so I sat up in the dark a while longer and cried some more. I absolutely couldn't bear the thought of wasting a single moment away from my new son, even for some much-needed sleep. I kept thinking: how are any of us immune from such grief? What if it happens to me, too?



Our First Six Weeks are almost over. I'm trying to make a game plan for the weeks to follow---a plan that includes remembering that baby girl and remembering to appreciate all of the little moments, even the ones that don't seem so fun at the time. Appreciating blurry-eyed midnight feedings and changing dirty diapers--realizing they are all part of the blessing, and that there are parents elsewhere who would give anything to change their baby's diaper, or be up all night with a crying newborn. The good and the bad are a packaged deal. I'm starting to get that now.

Matt and Nicole: We are overwhelmed with grief for you, and we are praying for peace to find you.

Maternity Leave

Hello to all, we are back after a brief maternity leave! Here is a photo of Baby Sean for your viewing enjoyment. Isn't he wonderful?!

What an amazing two weeks this has been! Sean's birth on December 12th signified the official beginning to our holiday. We still had a bit of shopping and planning to do, and certainly plenty of wrapping--but part of welcoming our new son meant giving ourselves plenty of grace in the details. A big, big thanks to the many families that made sacrifices of their own by bringing in meals for us so that we could concentrate fully on resting, healing, and loving our baby without getting bogged down by our basic needs. We have been so touched by your generosity.

Hope you all experienced much blessing this Christmas! I feel grateful this year to be given a better understanding: The celebration of Christmas has always been about the birth of a son. Sitting here in my warm house, nursing this sweet baby in the dark hours of the night....I feel like I finally get a glimpse of what Christmas really means. I hope your holiday was just as wonderful, and we look forward to seeing you in the new year!

Dreaming

Every time I go through this journey of carrying a baby I am reminded how absolutely vivid and real pregnancy dreams are. Three nights ago I woke up covered in a feeling of dread, having just dreamt that Justin was leaving me. It's been days now and I still can't shake that unbelievable feeling of grief.

Last night I dreamt that it was present-time and that my labor was starting. I woke in a panic, thinking, no, it's too early, it's not time yet. There are five more weeks. Once I was able to shake the panic and began to settle my mind down, I remembered that the other part of my dream was that there were 3 elk walking around in the kitchen. So for now I am content to resolve that it was just a crazy pregnancy dream, and not a moment of mother's intuition!