(Typical) Conversation with Reuben

Reese: "Mom, Reuben is calling me names."

Mama: "Reuben, we don't call brothers names."

Reuben: "Why not?"

Mama: "Because it's not speaking with love and kindness."

Reuben: "Not even Cole and Reese?"

Mama: "What do you mean?"

Reuben: "I can't call them Cole and Reese?"

Mama: "Well, of course you can call them by their REAL names. That's not the same thing. Please say you're sorry for...Reese, what did Reuben call you?"

Reese: "Evil Contented Waste."

Mama: "Please tell Reese 'Sorry for calling you Evil Contented Waste'."

Reuben: "But I didn't CALL him that name, I just said it TO him"....