Dreaming

I had a dream this weekend that I went into labor. Not an unusual occurrence for a girl 38.5 weeks pregnant, surely, but this dream was different in that I actually could see the babe I delivered--finally. It was a boy, a big, strong, healthy boy with a lusty cry, and I fell in love with him instantly. He was so familiar somehow. I took one look at him and knew that I had always known him.

In my dream there was another baby, too, also a boy, that I knew I had delivered the day before. He was smaller, quieter, weaker, and I knew he was the baby that we lost in the fall, but he was alive, here, and in the dream Justin and I made the decision to raise the babies as twins--even though we knew they weren't. (I also dreamed that I delivered the babies at Half-Price Books...but we won't talk about that here.) We packed up the boys to take them home and I remember feeling so overwhelmed at the blessing God had chosen to bestow...even though it was different than what we may have originally anticipated.

I woke from my dream finally feeling like we have (almost) come full-circle. It has been almost exactly a year since we started down the road of that first pregnancy--the one that was lost. One year. One long year! My dream made me realize suddenly that the birth of this child will finally close that chapter for us, for me. I don't think I recognized that it hadn't yet ended in my mind. This baby, this life, was meant to be. Just another little piece of our story--and a daily reminder to this mama that God works all things together for the good of those who love him.

Can't wait to look upon that face and know that somewhere in my heart, I have always known and loved him.