Heard Around The House

Cole: "I know how to make a chicken bomb! You take a roast chicken, and put some dynamite inside..."

Sorry, folks. He walked out of the kitchen after that. You'll have to imagine the ending on your own.

Clarity

During school today:

Mama: "Okay, for Bible time we are going to read the passage where Satan tempts Jesus. 'Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry. And the devil said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread."' (luke 4:1-3)

Cole: "Wait. I don't know who the devil is."

Mama: "Satan."

Cole: "Who is Satan again?"

Mama: "He's like the biggest bad guy. He's the one that is fighting against God."

Cole: "OH! OH! I remember him! We saw him on Oprah!"

Mama doubles over and tries to be nonchalant about it.

Cole: "Remember? We saw him. I know exactly who he is. Remember? He was walking on the air between those buildings."

Mama (using her arm to hide her hysteria): "Um, that was someone different. That was Criss Angel."

Cole: "Wait. So now there's TWO bad guys?!"

Lunch Conversation

Cole: "So, Mom, how do staffs work, anyway?"

Mama: "What do you mean? What kind of staffs?"

Cole: "You know. The ones with crystal balls on top. I mean, I know they need magic to work, but I also know the STAFFS don't have any magic inside of them--it's the guy holding it that makes it work. So if the guy is the one who has the magic, he doesn't really need the staff, right? I mean, instead of using his magic to TURN THE STAFF ON, why doesn't he just use it for whatever it was he wanted to do, anyway?"

******

The calendar may have flipped to a new year, folks, but nothing much has changed around here. It's life as usual. Just in case you were wondering.

Five Little Acorns

I'm thinking it's about time to clean up this blog!

Hope your Christmas was merry!

Waiting

Quote of the Day:

"I'm just sitting around waiting for the future to arrive." --Cole, age 8

When Daddy Cooks Breakfast

Cole says: "This tastes halfway like heaven. I think that heaven will be just like earth, but with different colors and missing some things."

Mama: "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Cole: "What do you want to know about? The colors, or the missing?"

Mama: "The missing."

Cole: "Well, I don't think there will be any ambulances, or fire engines, or police cars."

Mama: "That's probably true. But what do you think heaven will be like? Do you think there will be foods there that you have never seen before?"

Cole: "You mean like MOON CHEESE?!"

Heard Around The....Volvo

Oh, the things one can hear on an innocent drive around town.

Are you ready for this?

********************

Reese: "Hey Cole? When our new chickens die, do you think we will bury them in the same place as the old chickens?"


Cole: "Well, here's what I'm thinking." (Mama is cringing.) "I love them SOOO much, and I think they're SOOO pretty....how about if we cut off their heads, and keep them? You know, like in a glass box? With their eyes open?"

Heard Around The House (the Who Are You version)

Cole: "You know, Reese, sometimes I can't tell if you are Cole or Reese."

*******

Reese (sigh): "Cole, do you know what I wish I was?"
Cole: "What?"
Reese: "Human."

Our Mom, by Cole, Reese and Reuben

What is something your mom always says to you?
Cole: I love you.
Reese: (no answer)
Reuben: Let's go!

What makes your mom happy?
Cole: That her kids love her.
Reese: Happy face.
Reuben: Medicine.

What makes your mom sad?
Cole: When we disobey.
Reese: Being naughty.
Reuben: Sick.

How does your mom make you laugh?
Cole: By telling us jokes!
Reese: I don't know, jokes?
Reuben: Madagascar 2 caterpillar.

What did your mom like to do when she was a child?
Cole: Puzzles.
Reese: Play games.
Reuben: Play with my boys.

How old is your mom?
Cole: 40.
Reese: 22.
Reuben: 5.

How tall is she?
Cole: 6 feet.
Reese: 50 feet.
Reuben: Big.

What is your mom's favorite thing to do?
Cole: Take care of her children.
Reese: Pick berries.
Reuben: Play together.

What does your mom do when you're not around?
Cole: Take a rest.
Reese: I have no idea because when I go somewhere, I don't know what you do.
Reuben: The computer.

If your mom became famous, what would she be famous for?
Cole: Having 5 kids! (yes, we have one on the way!)
Reese: (no answer)
Reuben: Treasure!

What is one thing your mom is good at?
Cole: Taking care of her children.
Reese: The computer.
Reuben: Computer.

What is one thing your mom is not very good at?
Cole: Building houses.
Reese: Legos.
Reuben: Going.

What does your mom do for a job?
Cole: Takes care of her children.
Reese: To tell us to do the dishwasher.
Reuben: Doing the dishwasher!

What is your mom's favorite food?
Cole: Salad.
Reese: Those little cabbages, what are they called? (Brussel sprouts?) Yeah, yeah, brussel sprouts!
Reuben: Eggs and toast.

What makes you proud of your mom?
Cole: That you take care of us.
Reese: That you can feed us.
Reuben: Make mine birthday cake.

If your mom was a cartoon character, who would she be?
Cole: Batgirl.
Reese: A space man.
Reuben: Star wars.

What do you and your mom like to do together?
Cole: Do school.
Reese: Go to the Daisy Cafe.
Reuben: Play.

How are you and your mom the same?
Cole: We both have big feet.
Reese: Our skin is the same.
Reuben: Same kissing.

How are you and your mom different?
Cole: I'm young, and you are old.
Reese: You have spider veins, and I don't.
Reuben: You change into Dad.

How do you know your mom loves you?
Cole: Because she always has.
Reese: Because I always think about it.
Reuben: Me be special.

What does your mom love most about your dad?
Cole: He's handsome.
Reese: He gives you kisses a lot.
Reuben: Him special.

Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Cole: To a fancy restaurant.
Reese: Red Robin for her birthday.
Reuben: At Robin.


Isn't having children enlightening?

A Seven Year Old's Budget Reform

I found this in the house earlier this week (Ways To Sayve Money):

I'm considering having buttons made that say "Vote for Cole 2012"!

Storytime

I think one of my favorite things about school this year has been the narrations: the boys create, and I write down their creations. Wonderful. Even a child that cannot write can tell a fabulous story! Here are a few for your reading enjoyment.

REESE'S PET, by Reese

Once upon a time there lived Reese. He walked along and found a little pond. He saw a tadpole and he picked it up with a bucket. It was full of water and he put in the tadpole. The end.

REESE'S SEA STORY, by Reese

Once upon a time there was a turtle. He was swimming along. He scared hisself by getting caught by a net. A octopus saw the turtle! The octopus swam to the turtle. A froggy jumped down in the water. The froggy got to the turtle first. The froggy freed the turtle. And then it was the regular sea again. The end.

THE KNIGHT'S FIRST BATTLE, by Reese

First some knights wanted to do a battle. They saw lots of other people doing battle and they really wanted to do one. The knights looked around for some bad guys. And the queen said, "Go find some bad guys." The knights looked around in the bushes. And then they found bad guys. And then they raised their shields and helmets and spears and swords and stuff like that. And they were finally fighting about a green jewel and a red jewel.

RED POEM, by Cole
Red is a strawberry
Red is a raspberry
Red is a jewel
Red is an apple
Red smells like a flower
Red feels like softness
Red looks like a red rose
Red is for the most wondrous thing you can find in the earth.

GOLD POEM, by Reese

Gold is a goldfish
Gold is a jewel
Gold is gold
Gold is a banana
Gold smells like bananas
Gold feels like a banana
Gold looks like a yellow cup
Gold bee.

THE QUEEN'S FIGHT, by Cole

One day there was a castle. And there was a good king that was two hundred years old. And he had two million knights guarding the castle. And one day a dragon came. It was a big, red, evil one. And he took the queen. And he took her two hundred miles away to the great evil castle. Which the evil king lived in the tallest building. And then below the big building, there was four small buildings on each corner of the big castle. And the dragon flew up to one of the small buildings which ten knights came to take the queen to the big building. And the stairs went around, and around, and around....there was four hundred steps. And they finally got the queen to the evil king's throne. Which the evil king said to her, "You are going in the dungeon for forty years. And when it's been forty years, if you are still alive, then we'll let you back to the castle. But if you are dead, then we will throw you in a pile of skeletons."

So they locked her up in jail with two hundred different locks. She stayed there for forty years. After forty years, the king had no queen at all, and then a woman came to the gate. It was the beautifulest girl the king had ever seen. And she said, "Your wife in jail is going to stay in there forever and I am the new queen." So the king married her and they had a lovely wedding. And there was a big feast at the end.

And then, ten minutes later, the real queen came home. And she said, "Let this queen go away!"

And suddenly the new queen turned into a bad guy witch. And the king was shocked to see how ugly this princess looked like! And the king called the guard as loud as he could. And they took her away. And the old queen said "I am the real queen." And then they lived happily ever after.
The end!

Better Hit The Mall

alternately titled: Better Review The Calendar Unit

Cole (as he casually loads his dinner plate into the dishwasher): "So it's two hundred million thousand days until Christmas?"

Mama: "Um, no."

Cole: "Well, how many then?"

Mama: "Three hundred and sixty four."

Cole (jumping up and down for glee): "THAT'S SO SOON!"

Happiness

Cole: "Do you know what I need to make me happy?"

Mama: "Yup."

Cole: "What?"

Mama: "A hippity-hop, a pair of underwear, your slippery socks, a rubber room, maybe some bubble gum and one can of silly string."

Daddy: "And a whole bottle of maple syrup."

Cole: "No, I just need to be taller. Then I'd stand on that table over there and climb on top of the ceiling fan."

Is that all? Who knew?!

Child Critic's Review of Odwalla Superfood

Quote of the Day:

"We're drinking motor oil with just a touch of poison in it."
--Cole, age 7

Apocalypse

Quote of the Day:

"Mom, COME QUICK! The world is falling apart!" --Cole, age 7

(I know. I was worried too. Apparently it was just a small matter with the globe.)

Heard Around The House

Cole: "I just love to close my eyes. Then I can daydream all I want about Indiana Jones."



Reese: "Reuben, are you a Nazi?"

Happy Birthday Cole!

Cole celebrated his 7th birthday on Friday. Eeek! I have a seven year old.

So, you ask, what does one buy for a seven year old on his birthday?

What does every seven year old that shares a bedroom with two of his younger brothers need?

Why, a locking treasure box, of course!

And a treasure box cake, complete with gold chocolate coins and candy jewels....

And his very own copy of Nacho Libre!

(he's nacho average hero)

Can life possibly get any better than this?

Shelfy's Long Swim Home

I have several friends who are in a season of waiting right now. They have all individually petitioned God for something and are waiting anxiously to see how it will all play out. In honor of them, I want to share something that happened at our house last week....

At Cole's 3rd birthday, his favorite gift was a stuffed trout that he received from Michael and Kristin. He named it Shelf. That was four years ago, and though different stuffed animals have been favorites at one time or another, Shelfy has always been in the top three. So around the time Sean was born, when I realized that I hadn't seen Shelf for awhile, I was worried. When Cole said that he hadn't seen him for awhile either, I was even more worried.

We started praying every night that Shelf would be found. Sort of trivial, I know, but this is spirituality at a six-year-old's level. Cole's friend was lost and we were grieving. We hoped that he would be returned safely, so we prayed. And prayed, and prayed, and prayed.

Months went by. Then, a few weeks ago, as I was tucking the boys into bed, Cole said, "Mom, I'm almost ready to give up hope for Shelfy. I'm starting to believe that we're never going to see him again. I don't think we should pray for him anymore." Knowing that their bedroom/playroom is an abyss and that there were still some places we hadn't uncovered, I told him, "That's okay if you want to give up on Shelfy, but I'm not ready to lose hope yet. I still believe that we'll find him someday. So you don't have to pray for him anymore, but I'm still going to..." Cole agreed that we should continue asking God just a little bit longer for Shelfy's safe return.

On Father's Day, Justin was talking to his dad in Portland and got online to send his dad a photo we took of Justin holding all four of the boys at once:

...when Justin's dad received the photo, he emailed us back....and lo and behold, at the end of his email, he said, randomly, "we found a stuffed trout at our house, and thought it might be Cole's..."

I was absolutely beside myself. The last time we were in Portland was August. It has been nearly a year since Shelf was home. After all this time, God answered our prayer! I began stalking the mailman until the fateful day that an oversized envelope appeared in our box. Acting nonchalant (but frantically pulling out my camera), I tossed it to Cole and told him he had a package....

God absolutely heard our prayer. All of our many, many prayers. I'm so thankful that we didn't find Shelf right away, and that we were forced to wait all those months, because I know now that Cole will never forget the day that Shelfy came home. He has surety now that the Lord heard him, and answered him.....even though the answer didn't come quickly. And I am so blessed, at my deepest core, that he has this foundational truth within him now. I can't imagine that he will ever ask in faith for anything the rest of his life, without remembering this moment, when his God heard him.

Metamorphosis

Ever since June hit a few weeks ago, the boys have spent the better part of every afternoon out scouring the yard for caterpillars. I'm not sure what started this trend, but they've become quite proficient at the hunt. Even determined little Reuben--who used to rely on his older brothers to satisfy his bug-lust--set off entirely on his own a few days ago and stumbled out of the brush some time later with a beaming smile on a face and a wriggly little caterpillar dangling from his fingers.




Needless to say, we now have all sorts of jars and tin cans littering the front porch. They are filled with snails, caterpillars, potato bugs, you name it...and topped with the timeless waxed-paper-poked-with-a-fork-and-held-down-with-rubber-bands ensemble.



This past Sunday morning, Justin and I were on the couch reading the paper, occasionally glancing out the front window at the boys (some still jammy-clad) playing out in the grass, when Cole burst through the door with this:

which is, of course, a perfect little cocoon he discovered in the glass Ball jar that was suddenly and inexplicably missing its caterpillar resident...

I might have been even more excited than he was. I'm pretty sure I've never seen a real cocoon before (other than one on display at the zoo, perhaps)...we are anxiously awaiting the next stage of life to appear!

Today

Today, when I was putting Reese down for a nap, I found a meatball under his pillow.

A meatball.

Under his pillow.

And if you think that's weird, wait until you hear the conversation that followed.

Me: "Reese, you can't have meatballs down here."

Reese: "But Cole has one."

Me: "He does? Where?"

Reese: "Under his bed."

Me: "Will you get it for me?" (I was, after all, holding the baby. Yeesh.)

Reese climbs around under Cole's bed and rescues a perfect little meatball from the frame of the bed. A place where I would have never, never found it. He hands it to me and I trek upstairs, trying not to laugh my head off.

I walk into the living room.

Me: "Cole, I brought your meatball upstairs and it's on the kitchen counter. No more hiding food in your room, okay?"

Cole: "Well, okay. But we do usually remember it."

What?

Me: "How many other foods have you hidden down there?"

Cole: "Just one. It was a cookie."

Okay, now cookies--that I can understand. But meatballs? Reese said they named them Midnight Meatballs and were saving them until after lights out.

Today might just be my weirdest day as a mother!