10.07

justin one:

nine years ago I said "I will"

eight years ago I said "I do"

today I say "I still"

my friend assures me:

it's all or nothing

I am not worried

I am not overly concerned

my friend implores me:

for one time only,

make an exception

I am not worried

wrap her up in a package of lies

send her off to a coconut island

I am not worried

I am not overly concerned

with the status of my emotions

oh, she says, we're changing

we're always changing

Remember when you were eighteen? So stubborn and bullheaded, so sure you knew what your future held, so in control. I was so captivated by you and calmed by your surety; your stubbornness thrilled me and frustrated me...

Remember rock climbing at the park and pizza on the scaffolding? Remember water towers at night and the ribbing of friends? Remember missing your One in England and lunch at Fridays?

Remember moving north, and starting again? Remember lawn games before dinner? Remember new books, new profs, new schedules to coordinate? Remember waiting to be buzzed in to the building? Remember calling Naked Guy and asking him to please put some clothes on? Remember rapelling off the look-out tower? Remember photographing the cemetary, and walking all the way home? Remember pre-bought tickets and (root) beers on the builders' swing?

Remember the realization that it wasn't a game anymore, that something bigger was beginning?

it does not bother me to say:

this isn't love

so if you don't want to talk about it then

it isn't love

and I guess I'm going to have to live with that

but I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey

or something in between

and I can always change my name

if that's what you mean

Remember loud silences and frenzied writings? Remember tearful walks in the night, muddling through miscommunications? Remember wanting so desperately to make it work? Remember knowing that something larger was at stake?

it seems like I should say:

as long as this is love....

but it's not all that easy

so maybe I should

snap her up in a butterfly net

pin her down on a photograph album

I am not worried

I've done this sort of thing before

...but then I start to think about the consequences

and I don't get no sleep in a quiet room

Remember waking exhausted, but starting another day?

Remember not giving up?

this time, when kindness falls like rain

it washes me away

and Anna begins to change my mind

and everytime she sneezes I believe it's love

and oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

she's talking in her sleep

it's keeping me awake

and Anna begins to toss and turn

and every word is nonsense

but I understand it all

lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

her kindness bangs a gong

it's moving me along

and Anna begins to fade away

it's chasing me away

she disappears and

oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

justin one:

thank you for taking a chance on us

eight years added to our cache of memories,

four olive shoots around your table

and I am crazy in love with you (I think hearts about you)

Apocalypse

Quote of the Day:

"Mom, COME QUICK! The world is falling apart!" --Cole, age 7

(I know. I was worried too. Apparently it was just a small matter with the globe.)

Tag, I'm It

So, back in August, my new bloggy friend leah tagged me for a blog post, and....well, I am apparently THAT behind. But it's great fun--and leah, I am doing this mainly for you, because my parents and my best friend (the only other people who read this blog) probably already know these things about me!

4 things

4 things I was doing 10 years ago:

1) Moving into my first apartment! Lovingly called the Peach Pit by the locals (90210 nod, yes?), it was a four-story peach stucco building on the south side of campus with bright turquoise doors. Lovely. (And all I could afford). On move-in day, I entered the apartment to find candles burning and the TV blaring, and the roommate nowhere to be seen (she was in another part of the building visiting a neighbor). I wondered what I had gotten myself into....but sure enough, we survived two years in that flat with no fires! Hurrah!
2) Swooning over My One, knowing that he was absolutely the missing half of me and trying to do the hard work of sorting through our baggage ahead of time so that we could (hopefully) have an uncomplicated marriage in the future...
3) Volunteering as a counselor at the local pregnancy center. Important work, yes, but very overwhelming. Every Friday afternoon, when I returned home from my shift, I would collapse on top of my bed and sleep for about three hours--sleep being my No. 1 Coping Mechanism.
4) Biting my nails off with the stress of having to "write on cue" for all of my major classes.


4 things on my to-do list for today:

1) Make 7-layer burritos for dinner (check)
2) Make a model of the Nile River, plant its banks with Cereal Rye and flood it to make the crops grow (tabled--forgot to buy the potting soil)
3) Wash a load of cloth dipes (check)
4) Spend 15 mins cleaning my entryway (Flylady....check....good thing, too, since one of the boxes sitting there has been there since July!)


4 random things I love about my husband:

1) He understands me. Absolutely. My every moment, be it Crazy, Scattered, Furious, Weepy or Stressed (how are those for dwarves?) fits perfectly into his understanding of who I am....which means that he is never surprised by me....and which means that I never have to be something that I am not. He loves me unconditionally.
2) He turns the light off for me when I fall asleep reading, and tells me stories on the nights I can't sleep.
3) He has gifted me with my four most favorite sons on this planet.
4) He knows how to FIX stuff....anything! Oh, and he sews. And irons. (Is that six? Sorry.)

4 jobs that I have had:

1) Restaurant critic for a local online guide.
2) THE BEST bagel sandwich maker. Test me on this. You will not be disappointed.
3) A server at Red Robin. Yes, I made good money, No, I didn't like it (I had to talk to people--apparently that's part of the job), Yes, I once dumped a chocolate milkshake on a little boy, No, he didn't sue.
4) Vault teller at our local credit union--a job I LOVED (money and numbers, ahh)--and would have done longer if God hadn't decided that honeymoon babies are cool.

4 movies I have watched more than once:

1) The Office DVDs (standard Sunday afternoon fare at our house)
2) Pike Place Market: soul of a city (my mother-in-law bought this for me and I can't tell you how many times I've watched it...Great background movie for laundry folding!)
3) Sliding Doors
4) Keeping the Faith
...you know what I have never watched, even though it's sitting on my shelf? My wedding video!

4 places I have lived:

1) my childhood home in Kirkland WA--where I lived until I moved away to college

2) on the 39th floor of a 42 floor highrise in Honolulu...but just for a summer

3) in a condo on a golf course on Hawaii....but just for a summer

4) in a teensy shoebox of a house on Iron Street...our first house!

4 places I have been:

1) building a church in Jamaica

2) at the theatre in London

3) at the rim of the crater on Mt St Helens

4) wandering the Louvre and Notre Dame

4 places I want to visit:

1) the Grand Canyon

2) Alaska

3) Norway

4) Greece

4 TV shows I watch (on our two channels! woohoo!):
1) Survivor
2) The Office
3) Cosby show reruns
4) The Andy Griffith show

4 things you (leah) may not know about me:
1) When I was little I was a tomboy too. Most of my best friends were boys. Two of my girlfriends and I started a club where we gave ourselves boys' names: Tom, Tommy and Thomas. I was Thomas. I wanted to have a baby brother and live on a farm.
2) My dad helped me buy my first car at 17 so I could start classes at the local community college. It was a stick shift and I was anxious about driving it...and about going to college...and on my first day, I missed my exit back to high school and ended up in downtown Seattle!
3) In high school, I took Photography, International Cuisine and Auto Technology.
4) In kindergarten, I won a goldfish at my school's Harvest Carnival. It went on to live for five years and got me into a lot of trouble. It would jump out of the water at night and the splashing kept me from sleeping. Of course my parents didn't buy that story and I got reprimanded often for making up untruths about the poor goldfish and not staying in my bed. (they finally saw him one night and all was made right!)

Your turn! The four people I tag are:
1) Jill (can you do this with dial-up?!)
2) Karissa
3) Janine
4) Lynne!

A Few Fun Things

daddy brought home a snake...



reuben brought home a snail

and a mothwaaayyyy too much excitement on the first day of school

(c'mon, reese, SMILE)
morning walks to the park

swinging in the sun
this week: first time pulling up to standing!

Of Cow Pies & Mullets

Playmobil Quote of the Day:



"What's that in your hand, Mom? Oh....two poops and a hair?" --Reese, age 4

And Then There Were THREE

It's true: Our chicken house is becoming quite the lonely place to be. Lost another one this week, and though we're thankful to not be mentally muddling through a raccoon "robbery", we are dealing with the fact that we have absolutely no idea what killed her. Yesterday afternoon, while Justin was here on lunch, the boys were looking out the window and noticed there was a chicken that had flown over the fence. Justin went out to put her away (thankfully telling the boys to stay inside) and as he ushered her into the yard, he spied a limp little body out by the back wall. No blood, no bites, not a scratch on her.

So....c'est la vie. Or not, as the case may be. The boys weren't any more upset this time than the last, though this time they did come out and get a bit of a lesson about what a dead chicken looks like. I'm feeling sad that our egg ration is depleting. (We didn't eat any of the eggs from the nests yesterday, not knowing if they were safe.) Farmer Justin is feeling sad that he lost yet another member of his flock.

Week 3

M week!

We ate muffins,

played Barrel of Monkeys in math,

stared at a jelly jar full of m&ms all week before finally charting our guesses (1-100) on Thursday, counting them and eating them, yum!

and.... we made mud!

(we were supposed to learn to mop, too, but somehow that didn't get done....)